Every Friday, I get a newsletter from Cracked with five articles they think I should read. Last week’s letter had an interesting piece on directing pornography which made me genuinely curious. See, I’ve read tons of articles about how women analyse everything and how men are remarkably simple, and today, I’m hoping a guy can explain something to me.
Part of the cracked piece explains that the cameraman shooting the porno is married to the woman starring in the movie. On one occasion, the cameraman watches – and films – as his wife is expertly … serviced … by her ridiculously well-endowed co-star. The writer wonders how the cameraman can cope. Well, by grabbing his wife and aggressively servicing her right after the scene.
Okay, in case you didn’t click on the article for yourself, here’s a summary. Our writer – let’s call him Ted – was a documentary film-maker who was between jobs. His friend makes porn, and asked Ted to take over filming for a few days. The article is basically the lessons Ted learned along the way.
While Ted was on the set, he realised that the cameraman often had to film his wife having sex with other men. Ted asked the cameraman how he dealt with that, and the cameraman said, ‘It’s not real. It’s just acting.’ Until one day, the cameraman filmed a scene that was NOT just acting. As soon as the scene was finished, the cameraman sat next to his wife, gave her the most dangerous look any human being has given another human being, and proceeded to have very aggressive sex with her as everyone watched.
I’m fairly sure you’ve run over to cracked and read the article for yourself at this point. Yes? Good. So here’s my question. The article doesn’t say how the scenario ended. Actually, it says, “I don’t know how it ended, what they talked about after. But that’s what we beheld. It was profound.”
Now … I’m a woman, which means I have spent lots of moments analysing that situation, and have come up with nothing but a headache. Why would the cameraman react like that? I figure the logical response be to (a) Stab the man (b) Stab the woman (c) Burn the tape (d) Get a divorce (e) Punch anything in sight.
Did the cameraman do any of those things? Nope. He simply, firmly, aggressively f****d his wife – because at that level of intensity, it can’t really be called making love. Of course he might have done all those things later, we’ll never really know. My primary question is … *adjusts glasses* … is this a typically male response? What prompted that action? What was running through his mind in that moment?
In my typically female way, I tried to get inside his head, tried to deconstruct what he might have been thinking. I assume he was angry that his wife had enjoyed some other man. The chemistry was so real it had the audience was clapping, so it clearly wasn’t acting. Maybe they’d had a fight that morning and she was getting back at him, since she volunteered to do what two other women had refused to do.
Maybe he was jealous she dared to have such fun while he just sat there and watched. Or maybe he was so turned on by watching that he needed … um … release. Maybe it was a deliberate move on her part. Maybe it secretly bugs her that her husband lets her have sex with other men, and she wanted to hurt him and and have fun at the same time. Maybe they have an open relationship and this is their twisted foreplay.
But … what was going on in his head? Was he conflicted that the sex scene was pure gold and that he would make lots of money from some other man enjoying his wife? Did he want to remind her – and himself – that while the other man was bigger, more able, and more enjoyable, she still belonged to him? Was it a basic primal reflex, like grabbing your toy from another child and playing with it yourself? Or was it such a raw, instinctive reaction that no thought was involved in it at all?
Guys, I wonder if you could do a girl a favour and explain it in the comments. For science. Put yourself in his shoes for a second. Then tell me … why did he react that way? Would you have the same response? If not, what would you do? *taking notes*
